Wednesday, March 16, 2011

STRESSED out? Maybe this can help.



It happened on a Saturday morning. My email had been phished (spammer used my email as the forwarder). So I stopped everything and tried to educate myself on this new foreign subject and fix what was broke.

But I really didn't have time. Phone calls started reminding me what I was suppose to be doing.

Son was being ignored so he got jumpy for attention. And ended up making shell noodles with cheddar cheese for breakfast. Thank goodness someone cooks around here! :)

Then my mind ran to all things blog, and all the pending duties glaring at me.

On my way to the coffee pot maker, I tripped over household messes long ignored, I got jittery and finally realized something. I needed to shut down.

So know what I did? I cleaned my house.

I needed to mentally wipe out everything under the sun and focused on the floors. I vacuumed every crack and crevice and enjoyed the outcome.

Then I cleaned up 'nests' strewn every which way.

It was only then, did I feel a sense of calm and control in an otherwise haywire environment.

Rather than running to bed under covers to recoup,  attacking something overdue that didn't require alot of heavy mental debate actually helped to lessen the load. And helped make me feel better.

Being productive helped me this round. But it isn't always the answer. Here are some other stress busters that help me.
Beating stress

Learn to say no more

I have an issue with saying no. However if you say yes to everything, you know what happens. You end up disappointing those you made promises to. Saying NO from the get go when needed is honest and most will understand and appreciate it.



Loosen up your day. 

I like to schedule ONE main event per day and the rest may or may not follow on that given day. This allows mandatory breathing room which alleviates lots of stress.

Not yet.

Do you think you have to attend to things as soon as you're asked? Me too.  Maybe I CAN do it, but maybe not right now.  Reschedule so it does work for you so you can do it willingly with a happy heart.




Take a REAL day off

I often get calls to look at this or work on that on a weekend. Know what? I've reclaimed my weekends back. Meaning, I will do it if I want to do it on a weekend. We all need time off from schedules and demands.

And if that means doing nothing, good for me! I've also deemed Sunday as our official family day so you won't see me much online if at all on Sundays. Yay for me!

Just give yourself permission to do nothing for a short while. You'll be amazed what you end up doing. :)


 Go for a walk

Most everyone can walk. And if you can exit out the front door when you've had enough, I highly encourage you to do so. Better yet? Put exercise on your daily agenda and you may not even REACH shut down mode. Walking really helps me but I can't always get out on my own when needed. Lucky you if you can!


 Hold off when rattled

I have a rule. If I'm rattled about something, I give my decision 24 hours. Whether it's dealing with an email I'm not sure on, or whatever. Give yourself abit of chill time and your decisions on things will be more sound. 90% of the time I come up with a better plan of action if I give myself this critical time.

High emotion triggers immediate response. And it may be the wrong kind. Be strong and hang on!


Temporarily shut down

Cry. Or maybe you just need a short nap. Stop the world and just take a short mental vacation. Do whatcha gotta do. You'll be glad you did.


Talk to those you trust

Not having a spouse often puts me in a weird place. I have no one to rattle things by. So I use Facebook or friends or pray when I'm attempting to work through something. Even my cats hear more than they ought to. :)

Find someone to talk to when you need it. Even if to just be heard.

But use common sense. Just make sure you don't share anything too terribly personal nor emotional online. And please... don't diss someone online. It really makes you sound uncool. AND could come back to haunt you!

 Listen to yourself

Do others think you're mad? Or yelling? Maybe you are but don't mean to. Stop and listen to yourself. Then adjust accordingly.


Feel abit crazy? Go see your doctor.

You never know if what you're feeling could be more than what you can handle on your own.

I'm not endorsing taking meds for just anything, but please check in with your doctor if you feel you simply can't cope. There could be more going on than you realize.



Avoid troublemakers

Ever lose your cool with someone you weren't even angry with? Others do this too.

Upset people generally have way bigger issues than you.  Don't take it personally. Cope, stay ON TOPIC even if they don't, then let it go. More cases than not, it's not about you.

Then again, some relationships just flat out cause stress.  Remind yourself you can pick and choose whom you deal with for the most part. Can't pick and choose this one? See above. But if you can, pick good people that fill you with hope and encouragement, not those that drive you repeatedly over the brink!

Choose your acquaintances wisely.


Delegate

I know, I know. Only you do it best. But look at what you're doing to yourself!

Let go of that perfectionism and delegate what needs to be done. You really do need the help.

(I'm pointing at myself on this one BIG time)



 Do what's on the list

You're overwhelmed and you even made a list of all your to do's, yes? Well, revert back to the list and just do it. It never lies. Don't have a list? MAKE ONE. xo

 Identify your cause of stress

Ever feel awful but don't really know why? You could be repressing what your issues are. This only creates more issues down the line.

Identify what's causing you stress and work at it one by one. Many swing to bad habits to run away from the real issues. Don't let that happen to you.




Got that messy house? 

Hack at it while you can. You will feel better once it's clean. But in the meantime, I grant you permission to wear this shirt. :) Hee...

 Write a post on how you're feeling

So what's really going on? It's officially spring break with the kidlets out of school and my work has been at an all time high pace.  I feel like I'm going a little crazy.

So with that in mind, I need to follow my own advice and read this 100 times until I chill myself. And loosen things up abit while trying to belt out the work. And see if I can't fit in some time to play somewhere. I miss my hammer and my walks. :)


Ahhh... much better!

What are your worst causes of stress?
Got any favorite stress busters you can share?

31 comments:

  1. oh nice post! I get stressed so easily over big & small tings...my hubs is the calm cool one...thanks for this post today!

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  2. Hi Donna, My girlfriend and I were just chatting about this very thing not 15 minutes ago. A friend I have not seen since Christmas! Your post could not have come at a better time, thanks! Take care. C

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  3. Great job on covering it all! REally good advise and common sense! I try not to make rash decisions, and try to commit things to prayer. Amazing how God can work thru things that we could never make sense of otherwise. Thanks Donna!

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  4. I deal with stress by trying to organize things around the house. It always helps, and I am not sure why, but that is what I start doing. That is scary getting hacked. How do you even figure out what to do when that happens..?

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  5. All such great ideas! I often find myself completely overwhelmed and I try to use some of these techniques, but often I just need to take a moment to myself.

    And as for email getting hacked, it seems like it's going around lately. Both my bf's mom and sister got hacked this weekend. Not much you can do besides change your email, as far as I understand.

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  6. Re: the hacked thing, I changed my password and it seemed to work!

    Donna

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  7. Normally I eat sweets :( Seriously though, these next few weeks are tense as we await a medical diagnosis for my little sister, and wierdly enough I've taken to quilting. For some reason the cutting and sewing are keeping my mind occupied.

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  8. Cleaning is almost always a good solution for me. When other things are falling apart, its the messy counters and tumbleweeds in the corners that end up being the proverbial straw on the camel's back to a flipout moment for me. I think cleaning is good for the soul in that it is something we can control, we have a standard that can be reached, and the sense of accomplishment is a huge mood booster. I can say to myself, 'If nothing else, the kitchen sink is clean!' On the other hand, when I'm at work and need a mental break, I take my dog for a walk. Her happy bounce as we head out the door turns my attitude around every time!

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  9. So glad the hack seems to be solved with the change of the password. There seems 2 B a lot of that going around.

    Did U know that stressed spelled backwards is desserts?

    I learned a long time ago to say NO. Now, if it doesn't fit in with what I'm focusing on....I don't go, don't do it....etc, etc.

    I wish U luck & congratulations on setting some rules. That is part of the beginning.

    Have a super great day.

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  10. Yay for Sunday Family Day! Instituting that day and saying "No" more often can bring some sanity to busy lives. You just cannot do all things for everybody all the time. Thanks for your great blog. Sarah

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  11. Spending time with friends and family who love me calms me down like nothing else. In fact, I can feel myself relax just at the thought of it!!

    Sarahx

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  12. Sunshine, good music, and my favorite latte:) Thank you Lord for the sunshine today !!

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  13. Wow, you hit it on the nail for sure. Some of what I have been going through. My poor house has been so ignored this past month. My dear cousin that was like a sister to me got seriously ill. She ended up dying from H1N1. Just getting through each day was all I could handle. Last Saturday I had to clean the main living area of my home. I felt sick to my stomach because I didn't want to do it. It really only took a couple of hours as it wasn't too bad but those two hours have helped me out so much. I am doing a couple little things each day now when I am not at work. Today I didn't feel too well. I went to work til a sub could relieve me and I am taking some time off tomorrow. Just a little time for rest. Thanks for all the much needed tips.

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  14. Great tips!! I agree that sometimes the clutter around me keeps me from doing the thing I'm trying to ignore it to do! It's like your mind is subliminally trying to tell you, "Uh, no. Take care of this first you crazy lady!!"

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  15. Amen sista! "Purging" - as I call it- is so wonderful! Feels so great to rid yourself of unnecessarily stuff. De-cluttering your world can seriously de-clutter your mind! AND - I love lists - make them always, helps to remember things - and if you don't accomplish them - push them back... but they DO eventually get done! Loads off the mind. Great sense of accomplishment... especially if they have been "postponed" several times.

    BEST to you! ~ Maria

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  16. And if all else fails, open a bottle of vodka and dive right in... just kidding hahaha... I bet I at least got a smile out of ya.

    Ten deeeeep breaths, it really works. Prioritize not everything needs to be done in a day.

    It will all work out Donna... you just have to readjust your sails abit. A lot has happened in the last little while. Have a good cry and cleanse your soul... you will feel like a brand new person.

    Hang in there buddy, you will be fine.

    Big Hugs,
    Deb

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  17. Great advice Donna! For me, cleaning my house seems to help then at least something in my life will feel organized.

    As for the email thing, from what I understand there is nothing, including changing your password, that you can do about this. My husband has a website and we often get spam from ourselves...it is so maddening.

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  18. I agree with P Prim, UV Blue Vodka and Sprite! (and I'm NOT kidding)and my pets. If I didn't have my furry kids I'd lose my mind. Those and 1 or 2 of my blogger friends that I email back and forth with! They are wonderful dear friends that TOTALLY get me and understand. Yep, they are my sounding boards and help me blow off steam, Thank God!
    :) - Cindi

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  19. Where do I get that t-shirt?!? LOL! :)

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  20. There is nothing more therapeutic than Pine sol and a glass of wine! It will all work out! {and chocolate, that helps too!}

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  21. Such a great post, Donna! Thank you!! It really spoke to me, as we are planning on relocating clear across the country next month, and my stress and anxiety can get the best of me! Good stress busters for me are walking our dog at our local botanical gardens, and a glass of pinot grigio never hurt, either:)

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  22. Naps help me de-stress. Gardening too, when it's not -20 out. And my chickens- love to go out and watch them! Great list- very true. Right now I'm stressed 'cause I hate my job and feel kinda stuck- esp. since I'm carrying the benefits...

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  23. Great post! I love a quick nap. I find when I'm overwhelmed, it is usually because I've put off doing things that needed to be done...so when I "get to it"...the weight is lifted!

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  24. Great advice, Donna! I can so understand stepping away and being productive in a different area. Accomplishing something long overdue is such a great feeling! I only wish I was more inclined to clean house like you did when this happens!

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  25. Love this post, really needed it today. Blogging was stressing me out! Sometimes I feel I need to "be" something that I am not. Hard to have perspective at times. Now I am feeling less stressed, got my house organized, lunches made for tomorrow and dinner planned!

    Thanks for your wise words. Hope you can come to our next blogger meet-up, would love to meet the amazing lady behind this amazing blog!

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  26. Donna-
    Be patient God is not finished with you yet!
    Pat
    from HIS word.
    "I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

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  27. Laughing out loud! And breaking out the bottle of vodka (and no, I'm not kidding!). My kiddos are on spring break next week and I do have a full plate. Not complaining, work means money, so yay!, but you know how it goes. Anywho, I LOVE the tee shirt re: organized people are just too lazy to look for stuff. AMEN! :-) Try not to push yourself too hard and I will read this again and again and try to do the same.

    In the mean time,
    Hugs,
    Judy

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  28. There was an Oprah series a year or so ago about simplifying your life. In that series she had some experts talking about having a messy cluttered home was a HUGE stressor. that's something that definitely works for me. When my home is at least tidy, my mood is less grumpier.

    Just yesterday I started a draft for a post on a relationship that has been stressing my life for years. It was a simple post (not very wordy) but somewhat cathartic.

    Thanks for all the tips.

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  29. Thanks for sharing this!
    I've been told many times many tips to chill out... But I am such a stressed person.
    I've started running 2/3 times a week lately and it does work (a least 2 hours after running!)

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  30. Terrific post!!!! I will refer back to it often.

    Other stressbusters:

    -Eat. Often I get so absorbed in what I'm doing that I forget to eat. As the blood sugar levels drop I feel more stressed and emotional. Sometimes a simple solution is a snack.

    -Focus on whatever task is at hand. I hate that frayed, frazzled feel, but if I can zero in on one thing- like your housecleaning- it gives me a feeling of accomplishment.

    -Set boundaries in relationships. Apparently, I'm a good listener because I used to have several drama queens who liked to dump all of their stuff in my ears. At my husband's request, I put a lot of time and distance between us. Ah...how refreshing. Now I can breathe!

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  31. What a terrific post! Thank you so much for putting into words - alot of what I think! You are right on the button about so much! Life is too precious for us to squander it away!

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